I’m sitting here at 10:45 at night, the Thursday before my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. I’m working since there hasn’t been enough time during the day to really get anything done, and as I write away for my clients, all I can think about is the big day.
It’s such a milestone moment for my daughter, but it’s also a special moment for me. As part of the service, I get to express my hopes, dreams and wishes for her directly to her. I get to talk to her about what makes me a proud mama. It also meant I had to write a speech.
Putting my own thoughts on paper isn’t something I can just sit down and do. I have to think about it a lot, almost write the compete spiel in my head before trying to get it out on paper. It’s also harder to modify drafts when the writing is solely my thoughts and feelings.
There will most likely be many times in my life still where I’ll have to think through what to say without a real theme to guide my way. Here are the tips I use to get this done so that I’m truly happy with the final product.
1. I START VERY EARLY
Knowing I need to write something from the heart is only daunting if I save it until the last minute. This kind of work needs to get onto my radar as soon as possible, so the moment I know it’s coming, I start thinking about it. Specifically for my Bat Mitzvah speech, I began paying close attention to what other parents were saying to their Mitzvah kids starting a year ago. I didn’t take notes, but I kept a lot of details in the back of my mind, particularly on what structural elements I thought worked, and what ones I thought didn’t.
2. I WRITE THE SPEECH IN MY HEAD SEVERAL TIMES
This may sound silly, but I have distinct periods in my day where I can think without interruption. I use this time to play out scenarios in my head, and write speeches. The material never goes directly on paper, but it stays in my brain, milling about, combining with other versions for when I actually do decide to write. This process helps me feel prepared. It helps me focus.
3. I WAIT UNTIL I'M READY TO WRITE
It has always been the case with me and personal writing — when I’m ready to write, I just know it. I sit down and it comes pouring out. Now, it’s not perfect, but I often look back on these types of writing sessions and feel satisfied I got all my points across. This was definitely the case with my Bat Mitzvah speech. Draft one poured out of me one day in its entirety. I was so unprepared that I actually had to type it into my phone since I wasn’t near my computer or even actual paper. The waiting paid off too since that draft, and my finished product, aren’t so different.
4. I LET THE FIRST DRAFT SIT
When I write professionally, I maybe let a first draft sit for 30 minutes to an hour before editing and polishing it for submission. The goal is to move that piece off my desk quickly, carefully and efficiently. Stepping away for just a little bit is enough time to feel like I’m reviewing it with fresh eyes. This is not the case with personal writing, so I let it sit for at least a week, and I don’t think about it. No more writing drafts in my head, it’s done and needs to mellow all on its own before I come back to it.
5. I READ IT ALOUD
When editing time does approach, I copyedit personal writing by reading the first draft aloud. I am trying to capture my own voice after all, so I need to hear it to make sure it sounds like me. I often get a very solid second draft through this process, and many times won’t edit the piece again.
6. I DO A FINAL CHECK WHEN IT'S READY TO TURN IN
Whether I have a deadline to read the piece out loud, like for the Bat Mitzvah, or one to submit my personal writing, it always gets a final read through right before I call it complete. I end up making tweaks at this point, but what I’m really doing is refreshing my memory on what I said and ensuring these are points I still agree with. After all, following this process means quite a bit of time has elapsed since I wrote that very first draft.
BEING PERSONAL AND VULNERABLE IN WRITING IS SO IMPORTANT
Even with my rather tedious process, I love sharing my thoughts and feelings on paper. Somehow this medium makes me feel braver. I’m not restrained when it comes to expressing myself, even if I have to read what I wrote out loud. I feel confident when saying my piece, and I can’t wait to tell my daughter, in front of our entire congregation, how proud I am of her and what a special person I think she is now and on her way to becoming.
Photo by Kane Reinholdtsen on Unsplash
